Watching last night’s episode of the Great Food Truck Race was difficult for me, and my family. Seeing the fear, and sadness on my crying face, made the feelings of dispair wash back over me. I remember how it felt to be anxious, exhausted and overwhelmed. Yes, I missed my family, but that’s not what led to my breakdown, or rather, my breakthrough.
“You cannot live a brave life without disappointing some people” – Oprah Winfrey
I took a chance even going on the show, and took an even larger one, when I decided to say goodbye. It’s not every day you make a decision you know will receive scrutiny, even if it is for the best. None of it was easy, and not everyone believed how hard it was for me. Yet, I am proud of myself and my choice, and I don’t regret it for a second.
Interestingly, I learned a lot about friendship, and do me a favor, if your friend reaches out and says “I’m in a really bad place”, please listen to them. Don’t tell them to “suck it up” or “stick it out”. If you know them, and they seem distraught, please just support them and give them your love. Just because someone is smiling, doesn’t mean they are ok. When we are hurting emotionally, and mentally, the outside world can’t always see it. There’s no obvious bruise or break, but it’s very real, and should be cared for just the same.
I’ve always been a strong and positive person, and that’s usually how I feel. I’m the party starter, the bubbly one who’s laughing and telling jokes, but I do have moments of darkness and sadness too. I couldn’t get to a good place, to the strong place I needed to be, to survive this competition. This wasn’t something I could laugh off. This was an experience in my life that I had to remove myself from, in order to be true to myself and to begin to heal.
Without this experience I would have never met the other teams. This was my favorite element through it all. They are some of the kindest, and most talented people I’ve ever known. I’m looking forward to seeing where this show takes all of them, and can’t wait to see how they spread their love, kindness, and creativity to the world.
A special thank you, all my friends and family, for supporting me through this crazy adventure, it has meant the world to me. I hope you saw a little into my soul, and that maybe experiencing my struggle, will lead to something good.